Weird and Funny eBay Listings

I thought it might be fun to gather a collection of weird and funny eBay listings.

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Here it is:

1. Bamboo Stick Of Aggression

“I came across this Bamboo stick in the early 90’s on the grounds of a college campus. Abandoned in the dirt alongside a lonely sidewalk, I claimed it. This Bamboo stick seems to create a negative aggressive energy when handled among people. It does not bring good luck.”

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2. Beer Bottle And Tater Tot

“After I drank this beer I wrapped duct tape around a Sonic tater tot.You will win this also.I will sell the other eleven beer bottles I drank before this one later in an auction. If you win you will get a empty beer bottle with ten percent spit. Don’t dna me please.”

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3. Homer Simpson Face On A Squash

“Here we have a unique Summer Squash. It has a face grown into it. It somewhat looks like Homer from that famous TV cartoon. It has all facial features as well as both ears. It really is unique. This was grown local on the Northshore here in Massachusetts.”

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4. Elvis Presley’s Chewing Gum

“I was lucky enough to be able to get in to the Memphian Theatre when Elvis Presley rented it out to watch movies. He did this very often at about midnight when he was in town. I was able to get in because my friend worked at another theatre that was owned by the same company.”

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5. Used McDonald’s CheeseBurger Wrappers

“Yep! Yep! I need more cheeseburgers. So up for bid are twenty used McDonald’s double cheeseburger wrappers. They are great for use in bird cages, hamster cages, or in your cat’s litter box. So place your bid now.”

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6. My Recycle Bin

“One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.I offer you all my old and unnecessary data which I sent to my recycle bin during the year. All of this information is unnecessary to me but it’s a pity to empty it therefore I have decided to transfer my “treasure” to the one who might be interested in it.”

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7. Glass Bottle With Scorpion Inside

“I found this little square glass bottle under an old house sitting in a cranny of the fireplace foundation stones. I picked it up and nearly dropped it when I saw the scorpion inside. But he’s been dead for quite some time as the top of the bottle has some very decrepit cloth tape.”

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8. Pacman Shaped Potato Chip

“Pacman shaped potato chip, even has a mark like an eye. Mouth is not broken off because it folded back as it baked. This chip came right out of the bag like this. Something a true Pacman collector will appreciate. Great conversation piece. Give Pacman a home with you.”

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9. Canned Cloud From St. Cloud, Minnesota

“Canned Cloud from St. Cloud. In the can is a bit of air from beautiful St .Cloud, Minnesota. I have never seen a cloud in a can have you? Own this neat little bit of St. Cloud history for as low as ninety-nine cents. No reserve. A neat little add to your collection.”

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10. Real New York State Grass

“You will be bidding on one blade of original New York state grass, the legal type of course. Never been to New York state. Well now you can own a piece of it all for yourself. This is approximately two to four inches long, nice and green and best of all it comes from New York state.”

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11. Cat Ghost

“When I was young I had a cat named Shamey. Shamey was a good cat, but as I grew older so did she. One dad I came home and saw Shamey on the ground I thought she had fallen asleep, but I quickly realized she had died. I was heartbroken that my oldest and best friend had died. The day after she died we buried her in our back yard. That night I heard a meow, So I went down stairs to see what it was. I saw Shamey at the door, I rubbed my eyes and then she was gone, I thought I had just been dreaming it was in fact 2am, so I went back to sleep. A few weeks later I pasted the pet food at the store and heard a meow again, I thought about it and said no. These things have been happening for about 7 months now, and I miss her so much. So to let her go I am selling her ghost to a nice person who will appreciate having her following them now that she is in the afterlife. With the ghost comes her collar. I have had alot of death in my life, and seeing and hearing her kills me because i miss her sooo much. So this is my way of trying to move on, and raise money for my daughters college fund.”

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12. A Date With My Gay Uncle Frank

“To support my college fund I am selling a date with my attractive young uncle Frank. Frank is a nice youg Italian single. He is 5″11 and weighs about 180 pounds. He enjoys dinning out and loves the outdoors. He has emerald green eyes, and is a hospitality specialist. “

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13. Tom Cruise Semen

“I have in my possession an item of true rarity, semen from Tom Cruise. As described in the disclaimer, I can’t physically sell semen on eBay so I am not but instead selling you a glass container whose content is a mystery.”

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14. I’ll Tell Your Kids There Is No Santa

“The one thing all parents hate to do is tell their kids there is really no Santa. Well I just made everything easier for you. I will call and let little Jimmy or Timmy or Kathy or whatever you call your brat and let them know there is no Santa. That he is made up or died or whatever you want.”

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15. Ladies Black Pubes

“Freshly trimmed pubes clean and fresh from eighteen year old virgin. Make a wig with them if you are lacking in your own. I am a student in need of cash. Strictly no kinky emails. I really don’t think this one will last very long but it goes to prove that anything is sold on Ebay.”

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16. Very Creepy Old Sweater

“One of the items that we found in the wall of our house. It is an old sweater of a very interesting nature. Let me give a little history. My wife and I were married on March 3, 2007…”

Read the rest here.

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17. Spirit of Dead Man

“My friend and I encountered a house that had been abandoned for over a century. After venturing inside we realized that the house was odd and considerably out of the ordinary. There seemed to be some strange presence which was especially strong in the den area of the house…”

Read the rest here.

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18. Vampire Repelling Crucifix

“Troubled by vampires? Then don’t miss your chance to bid on this vampire repelling crucifix with Jesus figure. Crucifix is wood and the Jesus figure is hard plastic. Has the words INRI above Jesus. Crucifix is twelve inches high perfect for holding in hand while fighting the forces of evil.”

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19. Big Brown Box Drama

“If you win you will get the satisfaction of knowing you rid me of my drama and every time I am plagued with more, I will send it to you in a box.You may dispose of it as you wish, as long as you don’t send it back to me.It may appear invisible to you, but it is real to me. Also, if you like I will send you an autographed copy of this original poem.”

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20. Jesus Face On A Cashew

“It was blessed with the face of Jesus Christ. For those of you who cannot distinguish the features of Jesus please stare at the long nose part and he will come into focus or look on the top half, right side. W were fortunate to see him immediately.”

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21. Alien Unborn Embryo Sacks

“This glass jar is around five inches tall and approximately three inches in diameter. It holds ten of the most interesting and strangest alien embryos that you have ever seen. These inch jelly-like unborn embryo sacks feel soft, squishy and kind of gross to the touch.”

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22. Recently Taken Pictures Of Me

“You are buying nine pictures of me that have been taken this summer as I have been traveling. I’m also including three pictures I took recently with my camera phone. You will like them. Pictures will be emailed directly to your email from mine.”

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23. Super Cool Real Mummified Mouse

“This genuine mummified mouse was found in the back of the fireplace when cleaning out an old house in upstate NY. It was incredibly preserved in an upright position. Intact down to the little toes and tail. Was so strange I just had to Ebay it. Somebody’s gotta want this thing.”

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24. Used Movie Ticket And Used Popcorn Bag

“This auction includes a used movie ticket and a used popcorn bag from the movie:Bourne Ultimatum. This is a one of a kind deal think of how many things you could do with a used popcorn bag and a used movie ticket. I can think of thousands.”

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25. The Scream Cookie

“This is a chocolate-chip cookie that I made some time ago, that shocked me when it came out of the oven. All I had done was drop a spoonful of dough onto the cookie sheet, and this cookie came out looking like the head of the figure in “The Scream” by Edvard Munch.”

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26. A Paperclip For A House

“What I am trying to accomplish is to start off by selling this paperclip here on E-bay for as much money as I possibly can. Whatever I get for it, I am going to spend all the money from this sale to buy another item here on E-bay. Then, sell that item to purchase something of greater cost.”

Read the rest here.

27. Will Someone Please Buy My Hair

“No, this is not a joke, I’m 100% serious. You are bidding on a pony tail made from approximately 13″ of my hair. I was originally going to donate it to Locks Of Love. I was online one day and seen an ad where a woman offered $500 for 13″ of hair.”

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28. Glove Filled With Flour

“A glove filled with flour. This thing is terrific!! I have had so much fun with it over the years and it is about time someone else has a chance to bask in the glory that is a glove filled with flour. The proud recipient of this beauty will no doubt achieve eternal happiness.”

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29. Eye Of God Image In Toast

“You heard of the Virgin Mary Toast? This is the Eye of God Toast that I am selling. I don’t claim it has any supernatural powers beyond the normal rules of reality operating.I made toast one day and looked at my toast and immediately decided that it was special.”

The starting bid is $2.000 which is highly exaggerated! I mean… come on!

30. A Soul For Your PC

“Do you ever feel that your PC is a cold hard piece of inanimate technology? Well by placing this dll file in your Windows/System32 folder your PC will have a soul.Running Linux? No problem just place the the tar.gz file in your /usr/sbin folder, and you’re good to go”

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There you have it folks, 30 Weird and Funny eBay Listings. I think a “Stupid” would also be welcomed in the title.